Holey Sheets

When Will and I got married three and a half years ago we were given two sets of bed sheets as wedding gifts.  I feel like most adults probably have more than two sets of sheets for their primary bed, but I couldn’t bring myself to spend money on more sheets when we had two perfectly good sets.  So I set out to make these sheets last as long as possible, and this went pretty well until April 2015.

Several weeks ago I decided that it was time to finally cover the visible box spring with our most worn fitted sheet.  I didn’t realize until after it was already on that we had accidentally used the newer sheet instead of the more worn one.  I don’t know if you have ever tried to fit a regular sized fitted sheet onto a box spring, but let’s just say that the sheet is staying there for the rest of it’s life.  This left the more worn set of sheets to go on the actual mattress, which didn’t bother me.  After all, no one can even see the sheets. 

Things continued to go well for me and my sheets until one night Will got out of bed and I heard a ripping sound.  Apparently his “toe got caught” on a worn spot in the sheet and it tore. Let me stop here and say this—Will is what I would call a “hard mover”.  When he comes home he closes the door so hard that things shake.  He “places” glasses on the counter so hard that I’m nervous they will break.  If he stubs his toes they bleed.  If he turns over in his sleep it’s with enough force to pull the blankets completely off of me.  So when I heard that ripping sound I knew it was going to be bad.  We checked it out and indeed there was a substantial hole in the sheet.  So what did we do about it? Why nothing, of course. 

Over the course of the next couple of weeks the hole grew and grew.  It went from a substantial hole, to a big hole, to a huge hole.  Eventually it completely extended from one side of the mattress to the other.  Our feet and our dog would get caught in it.  At this point I had to take some action, but I still didn’t buy new sheets.  I just took the top sheet, tucked it in tight, and continued to ignore the problem. 

Why didn’t I just get new sheets? I had several reasons at the time.  I didn’t want to drive to the store to get them.  I was busy.  I didn’t want to spend money on something you can’t even see.  Mostly, I think the situation didn’t bother me until I was actually trying to go to sleep, so it was easy to keep ignoring. 

As I’ve thought about my sheet dilemma, I am reminded of how we sometimes handle small problems in our lives.  I’m talking about small things that we are dissatisfied with and that we can realistically change.  I’m thinking of issues with organization, time management, getting enough rest, eating habits, and other little things like that.  Sometimes it’s easy to ignore these things because they aren’t a big deal.  Other people can’t see them, and they don’t consistently bother us enough to force us to make a change. 

I finally broke down and got new sheets three weeks ago, and they are what I would call a Game Changer.  Here are some of our reviews on them: “Wow! I can’t believe how great these sheets are!”, “I love this bed!”, “I feel like I’m sleeping so much better!”, “I feel like we are sleeping in a fancy hotel bed!”, and “Do you think we’ll ever stop talking about these sheets?”  Sometimes we get complacent and don’t realize just how much a problem is affecting us until we’ve fixed it.  This goes for holey sheets and life. 

What are some easy changes you can make today to make life easier and more pleasant?

Beauty for Ashes

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  Romans 8:26 

I suppose I have known of this verse for a long time, but it wasn’t until January 2011 that I really understood what it meant.  January 11, 2011 was a rare snow day in Clinton, MS.  My graduate school classes had been cancelled and I was at my then-fiancé-now-husband Will’s apartment with a couple of other friends watching the college football national championship when my mom called.  I didn’t answer the first time, but I was worried that something might be wrong when she called back immediately.

“Whitney. Your daddy has had some sort of a spell.  You need to come home right now”, she told me in a voice that didn’t belong to her.  Absolute panic raced through my mind and body and I had a thousand questions that she couldn’t answer.  “It doesn’t look good.  You just need to come right now.  Give the phone to Will”, she told me. 

All I remember about that moment is that I wasn’t able to coherently speak to my friends to explain what had happened, nor could I coherently think.  A moment like this will make you realize what your faith is really made of, and I am forever grateful that my first instinct was to run into Will’s room and fall onto my knees.  I tried to pray and I felt like I was, but later my friends told me that I wasn’t speaking real words but just making noises.  When I look back at that moment, I am certain, absolutely, supernaturally certain, that the Holy Spirit was there, interceding for me when I could not pray real words for myself. 

My friends got me up and Will drove me two hours south to Forrest General hospital in Hattiesburg, MS.  When we got to the hospital we found out that my dad had suffered a massive heart attack known as the Widow Maker, a type of heart attack that immediately kills 9 out of 10 people.  He had been without a pulse when he got to the hospital, without oxygen to his brain for 45 minutes, and shocked over a dozen times before he somewhat stabilized.  The doctors at the hospital in my hometown of Picayune, MS had told my mom that he probably wouldn’t survive the ambulance ride to the cardiac unit an hour north in Hattiesburg, but that he definitely wouldn’t make it if they didn’t try.

Luckily, this story ends in the happiest way possible.  After the doctors told us that he likely wouldn’t make it, my dad started making tiny improvements and miraculously woke up a couple of days later.   That morning my mom woke my sister and I up from the bed we had crafted from ICU waiting room couches.  We ran, me accidentally barefoot, into his room where he was able to recognize us right away.  He left the hospital 7 days after arriving, rode his motorcycle for the first time 6 weeks later, and went back to work at the beginning of the summer.  He walked me down the aisle at my wedding that September, and I don’t know if there has ever been a bride more thankful to have her dad beside her.  Today he is healthier than ever with no lasting damage at all. 

My dad looking fine as ever!

If you happen to be looking for a Christian magazine, I recommend that you head to your nearest ICU waiting room because they are full of them.  I remember picking one up, while my dad was still unconscious, and reading “For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 

This is another verse that I’ve known of for a long time, but it didn’t really become personal to me until the months following that night.  For several different reasons those months were HARD, probably the hardest of my life so far.  Despite being so happy and thankful that my dad was ok, life suddenly seemed unpredictable, out of my control, and terrifying.  If something this terrible could happen what else could happen? What if it didn’t turn out so well the next time something bad happened? For months I suffered from crippling anxiety plus guilt for feeling the anxiety.  Nothing seemed to be going right and it was hard for me to find “the good” in my situation.

What good things did I eventually find?  Most significantly, after a lifetime of sometimes doubting my salvation, my faith took a very real turn that night.  It didn’t happen quickly, but I can look back and see that it was the turning point. The anxiety I experienced finally resulted in me turning to scripture as a last resort, and this changed a lifetime of knowledge about God into a real relationship with Him.   Second, spending many months in counseling helped me to be able to connect to the desperation that some of my clients feel the first time they meet with me—I wouldn’t understand that feeling if I hadn’t experienced it myself. Third, I now have a story to share that may encourage someone else.  

Why am I telling you this story? Because sometimes it seems impossible to find the good right away.  Let me be very clear about this—I am in no way trying to compare my experience to whatever painful thing you have gone through.  My dad made it, but someone out there has a dad who didn’t and that is a pain that I can’t pretend to understand.  Someone lost a baby.  A marriage.  A dream.  A job. Maybe you’ve made a big mistake.  Maybe you haven’t lost anything, but maybe you are just disappointed with life and with God about the things that haven’t worked out the way you hoped.  Each of us has had different experiences and we can’t compare our hurt to another person’s.

But whatever your trouble is, know this—as long as you’re living, God has a good plan and a purpose for your life.  God brings purpose from the good things—your talents, experiences, and successes--but He also redeems and brings good from your hard times and mistakes too.  It may not be in the way that you expect or hope, but God, in His timing, will bring something good from your deepest pain.  We can count on this promise, today and always. 

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.  In their righteousness they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” Isaiah 61:3

My Favorite Video

Have you seen this video yet? I bet you already have.  Because I am ALWAYS the last person to know about anything that is popular on social media.  But even if you have, I think it's worth watching a second time.  I personally have watched it four times so far, and I'm sure I will be on to round 5 soon.  I absolutely love what Joanna Gaines says about purpose here.

If you have a few minutes, I especially loved this devotion about Ephesians 3:14-21 as well.  It was so encouraging to me, and I bet you will like it too.

I've got a couple of new posts up at Mississippi Women Bloggers, one about dealing with stress and one about the real meaning of home.  I do hope you'll check them out!



Whitney

Lately

I haven't written in awhile because March has been such an eventful month!  Friday night I got to speak to the ladies at McLaurin Heights Baptist Church in Pearl, MS.  There isn't much that I enjoy more than a bunch of ladies getting together and visiting.  Everyone was so nice and welcoming and I just enjoyed getting to know them so much.  I had big plans of taking a lot of pictures, but alas this is the lone picture that I have as evidence of this event.  The piano in the fellowship hall reminded me of the churches I went to growing up.   It felt like home to me and I loved it.

I spoke about dealing with stress, setting healthy limits, and how God can bring something good from even the hardest of times.  I'll share some more about what I spoke about later this month.  The time I spent preparing for the event over the past couple of weeks was really good for my heart and was a refreshing reminder of the way God provides.  Also, a big thanks to my friend Susan for coming with me and driving me because there is not a time in life when I get much crazier than during the last few minutes I spend in the car before a speaking event!

Earlier this month Will and I set out on a 10 day spring break trip.  This is by far the longest trip that we've been on together and it was quite the adventure.  First, we made a quick stop in Mobile and spent the night with our friends Afri and Joey.  Then we headed down to Naples, FL to visit with our friends Matt and Emilee.  We had the best time visiting, the beach was beautiful, and Emilee is an awesome cook so we ate an abundance of great food.

Next, we headed back up to Orlando and Will and I spent a day at Harry Potter world.  It would be strange for a lady of my age to carry on about a love of Harry Potter, so I'll just say that at one point HP world was so magical that it moved me to tears of emotion and I'll leave it at that.  Later that night Will's parents and two younger brothers met us in Orlando for dinner and we spent the next four days at Disney World.  I can't say enough about what a great time we had.  I haven't been to Disney World in several years, and I'm happy to report it was looking better than ever.  Will's mom, Lisa, and I found so many opportunities to laugh at those four guys while we were hustling around the parks.  Oh, we laughed so much and had so much fun.

It seems like my physical abilities have taken a turn for the worst in the last seven years.  I don't remember my feet hurting at all the last time I was at Disney, but I cannot describe how much my feet hurt by the middle of our first afternoon.  I had worn some snazzy white and gold new balance sneakers in an attempt to be practical, but they let me down in the worst way.  Since it was literally impossible to carry on in that condition, the real highlight of the trip came when I paid $45 for these.

Yes, those are Mickey Mouse Crocs.  I'm sure the tan young ladies in their cute shorts and midriff tops couldn't help but be jealous of me.  Just for the record, I read several articles that highly suggested the Croc as a Disney shoe and they definitely did the job.  I guess you do what you have to do when three full days of Disney are ahead of you.

One night we watched the fireworks show in Magic Kingdom and I thought about where I was in life the last time I watched that show.  I was a junior in college, I hadn't met Will yet, and the thought of being a counselor had never crossed my mind.  I thought of the things that I hoped for back then and of all of the things that have happened since, and I couldn't help but feel awfully thankful.  I really did have this sentimental thought process during the Magic Kingdom fireworks show amongst all the crying children who had reached their limit of Disney magic for the day.

We actually took some pictures of our trip!

And that's what I've been up to lately! During April I will be guest writing for the Mississippi Women Bloggers blog all month.  The theme is "renew" and I'm excited about the things I'm thinking of writing about.  Be sure to check out my first post here today!

Whitney 

Gratitude

I'd like to start by sharing some fun facts of which you may be unaware.  Growing up I attended a church where we sang only hymns and the only instruments played were the piano and the organ, not that this was a negative thing because I do so love a good hymn.  I learned some core truths there that shaped me in the most important ways,  met so many special people, and made wonderful memories, but we absolutely didn't listen to "contemporary Christian" music.  This makes it sound like it wasn't allowed and I'm not sure that was the case, I just know we didn't do it.  I think I had heard of it,  but I literally did not have a concept of what it was until I was 16 and started going to a different church.

My friends would talk about these different singers, and I felt so out of the loop and intrigued by this special type of Christian music that had drums and guitars.  Sometimes people even clapped their hands.   I don't think I knew that there were entire radio stations dedicated to this type of music until at least late college.  As a result of this upbringing, to this day I am sadly lacking in knowledge of the "cool" Christian singers of the 90's, a topic of conversation that actually occasionally comes up in my life.  I smile and just pretend like I know who these people are.  

I tried to catch up, but it was hard to keep up with current Christian "hits" when I was just trying to learn the words to Lord I Lift Your Name On High.  However, one CD did catch my attention, the Nichole Nordeman Woven and Spun album.  Since I lived 30 minutes away from town I spent a lot of time driving each day, and I usually spent it listening to these songs.  And while it's SO funny to think of my 18-year-old self being baffled by this new music, to this day I love that CD.  I didn't really understand anything about what worship meant back then, but that's exactly what I was doing listening to those words.  

My favorite song by far was the song Gratitude.  I would listen to it over and over again and think about the words.  A couple of nights ago I was sitting in my bed, trying to pray, but feeling so worried and anxious about so many things that it was hard for me to focus.  I prayed that God would calm me down and the words to this song popped into my head and I wanted to share them. 

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case 

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case 

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead 

And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case 

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please 

As I thought about these words, I thought about how they mean something different to me today than they did ten years ago.  Ten years ago they represented some ideas that I was only just beginning to learn about, and now they represent things that I have experienced--how the hardest times can be a lesson in looking hard for God, how there is often a difference between what I want and what God knows I need, how He provides in ways that I don't expect, and how I am ultimately blessed beyond what I could have ever dreamed ten years ago. 

I think telling God everything that we are thankful for is a special kind of prayer.  When I am very worried about the future I try to make a list and thank God for all of the things He has done for me in the past, and I find that my perspective changes and I start feeling thankful instead of so worried.  And I remember that no matter what my circumstances are, no matter what I think is going wrong, God has put so many good things in my life.  And when I think about it that way, the things that I worry about don't seem so big anymore.

Whitney 

Simple Things

 This weekend we celebrated a special birthday.

This guy turned 91!  My Paw Paw is a special man.  He and my Maw live just a few seconds down the road from my parent's house.  There is a path cut through the woods that makes the trip even shorter, and growing up my sister and I must have made that walk thousands of times.

Paw Paw likes a cup of coffee, reading, growing tomatoes, and going to eat fried fish at the fish house.  He is a natural story teller and loves to laugh, a trait which my dad and I most definitely both inherited.  He is a World War II veteran and vividly remembers his time spent on ships in the Pacific.  He loves my dad and always calls my parent's house to make sure that my dad has made it home safely from work.  And I will never forget the image of him faithfully holding the light while my dad worked on various broken down vehicles late into the night, something he still does to this day.
 
Though I will leave her age a mystery because ladies don't tell, my Maw also recently celebrated a birthday.  She has been a door greeter at Wal-Mart for 27 years, has a sharp sense of humor, and is super smart.  I think she might start Christmas shopping in February, she makes a dang good Sunday roast, and she has an extensive jewelry collection that I always liked to look at when I was young.  Every Christmas Eve she loads my cousins and I down with gifts to give the neighbors across the street before we come back and open our own presents, and there is always room for one more person at her house on Christmas Eve.

LOUD storytelling and LOUD laughing, everyone talking at once, Sunday lunch, Easter egg hunts, hummingbird feeders, a cold can of coke, a twenty dollar bill to help with gas, and a storybook Christmas Eve--these are the things I think of when I think of Maw and Paw Paw's house.  They do not worry much about anything and they absolutely do not meddle, and I think this has kept them young.

Sometimes I have a tendency to make things complicated.  I get worried about what people think, the future, my clothes, my things, or about how 1983 called and wants the bathrooms in my house back--all manner of things that don't matter or that I can't control.  When I think about my Maw and Paw Paw I am reminded about how it's the simple things that matter.  The simple things are what matter to them, and the simple things are what we love about them most.

In my life full of busy and fast, their house is a throw back to a slower time.  It's always the same, always comfortable, and always a place where you can come as you are.  As I sat there tonight I thought about how telling loud stories with family, visiting with cousins, and eating 91st birthday cake is about as good as it gets.  I'm so proud of my Maw and Paw Paw, and I'm so lucky to be their granddaughter.

Happy birthday Paw Paw! We love you!

Whitney

Twitchney

I have spent six years of my life in college, with a one-year break between undergrad and graduate school.  Throughout the duration of those years I maintained a perpetual twitch in my left eye as a result of a constant lack of sleep or rest of any sort.  I am not proud of this, really I consider it to be a personal low.  I know it started during my freshman year, but the eye twitch really kicked it up a notch during the first semester of my sophomore year.  I had become very concerned about maintaining my grades by that point, and I had also been lucky enough to meet a group of very fun friends.  I think it’s difficult for most people to find the balance between studying and social activities in college (for the record, I think they’re at least equally important), but I made it especially difficult on myself by being very intense about both.  It’s tricky not to miss a single dinner, party, dance, weekend trip, or event of any kind while also not cutting yourself any slack in class.  The result was that I never went to sleep before 3 or 4 am, fell asleep any time I was still, and had a constant eye twitch. 

I think the true highlight of this time period came during my junior year when I was running for a spot on our student government’s executive council.  I was sitting up on the auditorium stage, all dressed up in a suit, waiting on my turn to speak and my eye just went crazy.  I felt it and later my friends were kind enough to give me a full report on the situation.  Here's the bottom line-I could dress up, put on make-up, and speak intelligently, but my eye would always give away the complete exhaustion just under the surface.  Why, WHY did I do this to myself? They should have called me Whitney “Left-Eye” Smith.  Instead, my friends gave me the endearing nickname of “Twitchney”.

I wish I could say that I kicked all these habits once I was finished with school, but they have followed me firmly into adulthood.  They might look different--I definitely cannot stay up until 3 or 4 am anymore if I would like to function like a normal person the next day--but I am still tempted to ignore the need to rest, and I’m guessing this is a struggle for most of you too.  This looks different for all of us, but for me this looks like doing what feels like a million things at once, planning a million things at once, staying up too late working, and having weekends full of events. 

I dare say that no one wants to feel exhausted all of the time.  We keep going without stopping because we feel like we have to, not because it’s great fun for us.  We live in a society that moves really fast, and we feel like things will fall apart if we slow down.  The problem is that a lack of rest doesn’t just result in an eye twitch.  It can make us irritable, emotional, and distractible. It can lead to or increase feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression.  No rest can make us less productive, mess up our appetite, and can cause us to get sick more easily. When we are constantly exhausted it’s easy for us to return to old bad habits and ignore taking care of ourselves.  Ultimately, a lack of rest can suck the joy out of life.  I’m not just talking about physical rest, I’m talking about spiritual, mental, and emotional rest as well.  The older I get, this past year more than ever, I am realizing that rest is not optional.  It’s a crucial part of living a healthy life. 

The Bible gives us lots of examples of rest.  Genesis 2:2&3 tells us, “By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.  Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.” I can’t be exactly sure of what God specifically did on that seventh day, but I can be sure that He spent it resting.  It doesn’t say that He snuck in a little or a different kind of work on the side, but that He rested.  Why do I sometimes feel like this example does not apply to me, and that what I’m doing is so important that I can’t stop to rest?

Jesus gives us a lot of examples of rest too.  He set aside time to spend totally alone with God or with just His closest friends after intense periods of busyness, before making important decisions, or before big events.  He encouraged His disciples to do the same thing.  In Mark 6:31&32, just before the feeding of the 5,000 it says, “And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.’ (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.”  Without spiritual rest we will quickly feel ourselves feeling far from God.  

Physical rest is crucial for survival, spiritual rest and renewal are the basis for living a life of joy and purpose, but I also think mental/emotional rest is an important part of a balanced life.  I spend my entire day hearing and thinking about intense topics, and I bet that's true for many of you as well.  When I get home it's important for me to spend at least a little time watching or reading something light hearted, happy, or encouraging.  If I'm feeling fancy this might mean a light hearted Christian book, but most times it means reading a book or watching a show that is pointless and not at all high quality.  My brain just needs to rest and not think. 

The best rest looks different for all of us--you know what works best for you.  The main thing is to plan out your rest time and make it happen, preferably before you become exhausted.  Time to rest doesn't usually just show up, we have to be intentional about it.  So go ahead, plan it out, and be protective of that time!

Getting enough rest is something that I have really been trying to work on in 2015.  I'm definitely not perfect at it, but I'm getting better.  I'm planning to keep it up, because believe me, no one wants to have an encounter with Twitchney the eye twitcher.  

Whitney