Waiting

The house is as clean as it's ever been. Our bags are packed (an impressive amount of bags for a mere three day stay). The couches, blankets, throw pillows, and yard have all been cleaned. The clothes have all been washed. I've been given or bought most every supply I can think of. All we're waiting on now is a baby girl who seems to be quite content where she is.

The due date is this Friday, but I don't feel frantic that she hasn't come yet. Though I must say, it is something interesting to live with the knowledge that I could go into labor at literally any second. It doesn't seem real to me. It must seem real to my husband, who adamantly refused to let us go to dinner at that rooftop restaurant in Vicksburg this weekend as he deemed it too far from the hospital. Obviously, we went to Cracker Barrel in Pearl instead. An excellent second choice.

If she doesn't come on her own before then we'll induce next Monday. Sometime later this week I may compose a poem on the topic called Whitney and Lily, Together Forever-Literally. I don't know when it happened, but sometime between about 36 weeks and today it's become extremely apparent that I am housing a full grown baby. She's stronger than I would've thought even a two or three month old could be, so I feel better knowing that this little joker isn't as fragile as I imagined her to be.

I'm not complaining about her taking awhile. I think I always knew she'd take her time and besides, it's been nice to have the chance to feel as prepared as we can reasonably be. I know this time of relaxing will be over soon, so while I can still think clearly these are some things I want to remember about the last ten months. Some are highs, some are lows, and some represent me demonstrating a high level of drama and craziness.

-Finding out I was pregnant the morning we left for our big vacation to Charleston and Savannah. We worked and planned for that trip for so long and nothing could have made it feel more like a celebration.
-The weekend we told both sets of our parents our news and no people on earth could have been happier or crazier.
-The times Will became a crier at the ultrasounds.

-The gender reveal party we threw for our families. It ended up being the most special day and I'm so glad we went to the trouble to do it.
-The way my ribs and mid back burned like a ring of fire every moment of my second trimester as if something were trying to kill me from the inside. I am sincerely thankful every day to not hurt like that anymore.
-The time I failed my glucose test while my husband was in England and I fell into an unchartered depth of despair and drama.

-The time a couple of days after this when I got a full out stomach virus and if a person could've died of misery I'd be a goner.
-The time I reached to turn out the lamp and my enlarged self fell right out of the bed.
-Another time when I was getting gas I wasn't able to open my car door all the way because of a pole. I leapt from the car with too much enthusiasm and found myself in a true predicament, with my enlarged self stuck firmly between the door and the door frame for all the world to see.

-The support and kind words from friends. So many people have checked on us and encouraged us. It means more to me than I can say.
-The support and excitement from family, especially our parents. They've been such a big help to us in so many ways.
-The time I didn't sleep for about four months. This would be an example of a low.
-The time I got the idea to create a book of "special pictures" for our parents for Christmas, knowing full well I can't work the internet. It took days, I yelled at Will,  and I cried three times before it was done. Another low. But that book is done and it is cute.
-The way my body has rallied and somehow I'm suddenly able to sleep 14 hours a night for the past week and a half.

-The way people have said the kindest things about my appearance. But what I want the world to know is this-a tube of $30 concealer will work wonders for you. The brand is NARS. Buy this, you won't regret it for one second of your life. Blush helps too.

-Will still being nice to me when I don't deserve it. And helping me stand from sitting positions/rolling me out of bed/getting me treats.

Every day for months Will and I have talked about little Lily and wondered what she'll be like. I've prayed so many prayers for her--that she'll come to know who Jesus is when she's young, that she'll be wise and discerning, that she'll be the kind of person who stands up for people who can't stand for themselves. That she'll have the kind of friends I've been so lucky to have my whole life, that she'll be a leader, that she'll never deal with anxiety. That she will be full of joy, personality, and will laugh easily. 

But mostly I pray that she will become whoever God wants her to be, and that Will and I will just be there to guide her and love her the best we can. And also that she won't pull bows out of her hair. Please Lord, let her leave her bows alone. 

See you soon girlfriend! 

Whitney